Today, I would like to share some words about an specie that is in danger of non-extinction. They call themselves “guitarists” because they play the guitar. A more accurate description of them would say that they abuse and rape the guitar. “Play” is a too kind word for what they do.
They show themselves in most cities of the south of Europe, though some people assure they have seen them in other parts of the world. They are usually blonde males with curly hair, but you can also see them in brunette and with hair gel (specially in Spain and Italy). The Tiring Guitarist is recognised by a hunchback they call guitar. But when they wear it in his back is fine. This animal is extremely dangerous when he plays his hunchback… or guitar. These beings can play the guitar and sing at the same time for hours without hurting himself. Continue reading
The monthly revision of what the future will bring you. Accurate and clear as milk.
For good or for bad, the Brexit votes will affect you, because even the motion of the smallest thing can affect you and because you are Aquarius and you are sensible to these things. Plus, during this month you will watch at least one film, as long as you want to spend time on that activity. And remember, don’t forget to take decisions or others will take decisions in your name. I do know this is the first time you read a sentence like the one before.
You will be stolen. Your heart will be stolen. Your heart will be stolen by some bear’s paws. Your heart will be stolen by some bear’s paws named Hugo. Your heart will be stolen by some bear’s paws named Hugo, a hairy man. Your heart will be stolen by some bear’s paws named Hugo, a hairy man who likes to steal other people’s organs. Your heart will be stolen by some bear’s paws named Hugo, a hairy man who likes to steal other people’s organs to take care of their feelings.
Anyway, do not be surprised if this does not happen to you.
You are going to think about how unhappy looks Pharrel William’s song Happy now. Likewise, you will think in a purple elephant, a flying pig, the Eiffel Tower finished (because it is not finished, isn’t it?), and a greenish sky turning blue. By now, you will also have thought about what I have written in the last sentence and you know it to be true. Continue reading
Goat’s Adventures are simply stories in which a goat plays a role. In these Goat’s Adventures, the goat is always the same one.
Warning: This is not the typical story. If you are intended to read it, you must notice that you will not find something ordinary, but outlandish, extravagant and even gore in some moments.
After having sex with a sheep, the goat spent the next nine hours smoking. Every time he has intimate relations with a sheep, he does the same activities. Once he finished all his weed, he was led to a concert hall for a rehearsal with his band. He played the transverse flute. The goat was extremely good at it. However, he was just able to play one note, the one which is played without fingering the holes.
According to the goat, he was the most important member of the band, even though the band’s name was Lady Gaga and the singer was called Lady Gaga too. He claimed that everyone who came to listen to Lady Gaga was to see the goat playing the flute. The goat was always placed at the end of the stage during the concerts, so it is practically impossible to see him during the performances. Likewise, the sound he makes with his flute was usually covered by the sound of the other instruments. Continue reading
It is one of the most magnificent short stories of the modern European literature and probably, of the world of literature in general. Its narration, the stylish and elegant combination of words along with the profoundness of the story, are real evidences which prove that The fucking Wizard is a masterpiece like no other.
The story has received many positive critics from different media around the world: Continue reading
A long time ago, there was one of the most powerful wizards of all times. All famous writers who write about wizards, claim that their wizards are the most powerful ones, but this one was even more powerful than those. Quite more powerful. He really was a top wizard. He could do anything that he could imagine, whether it was good or evil.
Unfortunately, he was unable to use his power over him. At least not as properly as he did when he used his magic with others. He knew he had enough power to change his life, improve it or worsen it. Yet, he couldn’t. There was an estrange magical wall which made any attempt to use the magic against himself impossible.
He studied the situation for a breve period of time. In that time, he realised that the magical wall was created by himself. Unconsciously, the old wizard was playing against himself. Still, that wall could be destroyed using different enchantments in a daily basis. However, the wizard was too lazy to do that effort. The truth is that it wasn’t a big deal. He only needed to be constant in his enchantments. But he was accustomed to use his powers to solve all the problems in the twinkling of an eye, with the minimum effort. Continue reading
I can not think clearly since I met you that night. My lips are still keeping your taste. An unforgettable taste. A luxurious taste. You blew my senses. They are recovering from that moment. Although they will not be the same any more.
You made me feel something that I have never experienced before. I was completely yours. I was taken. I was your slave and you were my sin. And I would sin a million times to get your pleasure. That pleasure left me remains in my mouth, lips and face. I am wearing those remains in this very moment. I do not want to clean them, because they remind me of you, of that night.
I took a photo of you. I hope you do not mind.
There is no feeling that can be compared with the experience of being bald. It is more than a way of life. It is a way of being. Of being hairless.
But, where does the bald hair go? To the ears, of course. That is the price to pay for not having hair at the top of your body. Sometimes (most of the times, actually) all that hair does not fit in the ears, so it also appears in the back. Yes, the bald person is the hairiest human specie. But, why? Nature is wise, so it tries to compensate the cold in the head with warm in the rest of the body, and that can only be done by adding some extra hairs to specific key points. Continue reading
Many things are interesting in this great world, but none of them are as interesting as you are.
People have opinions about everything and that’s great. However, the only valid statement is hidden in your brain and spitted out by your mouth, which is spitting all the time, for the delight of our ears.
Probably, the Earth rotation would be impossible if you weren’t part of this world. Certainly, the gates of hell would be wide open, and all the evil would be wondering around our planet. Lucky us, that you were born and we can hear your statements and affirmations, which keep nothing but the real and unique truth. Continue reading
Lateman was a man who enjoyed a happy life. He had everything he wanted to have in this world but one thing. Lateman was unable to arrive on time to any of his meetings. Doesn’t matter what he tried to do to solve the problem, the results were always the same.
Lateman had a load of clocks of all kinds. He even bought a smartwatch. Unfortunately for him and his friends, that did not help. However, one day he discovered something in one of his clocks. He saw one tiny elf who was moving the time forward. When he saw the little creature, he was completely astonished. Lateman tried to talk to him, but he could not, because he was late to meet one job mate. He only said ‘I’ll talk with you when I come back’. Continue reading
Petrol station workers have been categorised as the saddest people on earth. Nevertheless, people behind counters did not make it easy for them to achieve the award.
While doing their job, petrol station workers lose their soul and their humanity, to become a representation of the dreariness. You do not ask questions to petrol station workers, because they have no answers to give you. They just fill your fuel tank. That is all.
It is quite known that petrol station workers are the best ballad composers. There is a famous song called I wanna know what love is, by Foreigners. This song, like most of the famous ballads, was written by petrol station workers. So if you were wondering what the petrol station workers do when they are not filling fuel tanks, now you have the answer: they compose ballads. It is a way to share their sorrow with the world. Continue reading