Beware of Birds

Don’t trust the birds. The have something to hide and I know what I’m saying. They look, they stare, they glimpse. And they do so when they know you’re not looking. If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a bird. Specially the small ones. Those are the worst ones. They don’t care if you are looking at them, they will look at you anyway. Don’t trust them.

I’ve been watched by birds while I was performing illegal affairs. And do they call the police? Of course they do. Those birds are bastards. However, I must add that they prefer to stare at you when you’re naked. But don’t worry, they won’t rape you, though they’ll try. That’s the nature of birds. Still, there is a kind of bird who knocks to your door or window before trying to rape you. If you say that you want to be raped, they will rape you with their sharp beak. If you say that you don’t want to be raped, they will rape you anyway. You can have a conversation with birds, but birds won’t have a conversation with you.

Birds used to know the languages of men, but they forgot them. Why? Because they don’t care what you have to say. I’ll tell you one thing they care: shitting in your car. That’s definitely their thing, and no other. They are shitty masters. They have been chewing gums for ages in order to poo as much as they can afford. And they can afford it.

For all these reasons and a million more, beware of birds.


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