Petrol Station Workers

Petrol station workers have been categorised as the saddest people on earth. Nevertheless, people behind counters did not make it easy for them to achieve the award.

While doing their job, petrol station workers lose their soul and their humanity, to become a representation of the dreariness. You do not ask questions to petrol station workers, because they have no answers to give you. They just fill your fuel tank. That is all.

It is quite known that petrol station workers are the best ballad composers. There is a famous song called I wanna know what love is, by Foreigners. This song, like most of the famous ballads, was written by petrol station workers. So if you were wondering what the petrol station workers do when they are not filling fuel tanks, now you have the answer: they compose ballads. It is a way to share their sorrow with the world.

Many people will be thinking why the petrol station workers and not the supermarket cashiers (the subject of the cashiers will be discussed in future essays) are the saddest humans. Mainly because the supermarket cashiers are the most robotic animal known. As they are robots, they can not afford to have feelings. However, petrol station workers do have feelings. There are some theories which argue that the reason for their sad behaviour is due to be sniffing gasoline the whole day.

It is also important to mention that they are not sad like a puppy looking for cuddling. They are sad in the sense “I don’t know what the word ‘hope’ means anymore”. For them, the only thing that matters is to grab a hose. The rest is penury.

Why do not they quit the job? They can not. Even if they wanted, they could not. Their minds are blocked by some sort of power, and they can not run away from their jobs. There is no person alive who knows what the petrol stations workers do once their contract is ended.

Of course, not all the people working in a petrol station are equally sad. The more isolated the petrol station is, the sadder their workers are. Luckily, they are not dangerous. Although their sadness is contagious and if you stay too long in their station, you could become one of them and spend the rest of your days filling fuel tanks.

The Galician Lad was able to speak with one person who was able to survive after being infected by these workers. This is what he told us:

They feed upon human happiness, and causing depression and despair to anyone near them. They can also consume a person’s soul. All the same, there are certain defences that can be used against petrol station workers, specifically the Patronus Charm. Petrol station workers hold no true loyalty, except to whomever can provide them with the most people to feed off. They cannot be destroyed.

Harry Potter.


4 thoughts on “Petrol Station Workers

  1. This post is funny and I think you are right – petrol station workers are amongst the saddest of people. In the UK where I live they don’t even fill your tank they just collect the money at the end. No one speaks to them, unlike the ladies at the Checkout in the supermarket, who often engage in conversations with people. The only reason they are there in the UK is because people can’t be trusted to pay for their petrol and to sell cigarettes. If I were a petrol station worker I would take a laptop in to my workplace and start writing during downtime between customers. I always did that when I was working as a producer at the BBC which made me a bad employee but a very dedicated writer! Thankfully I’m now self-employed..

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is true that they aren’t the life and soul of any party. In any case, we can agree that “the saddest people award” is a hotly contested fight. This year, petrol station workers have won the acknowledgement, but maybe 2017 is the year of the kiddies trains drivers.

      Liked by 1 person

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