May Horoscope

Our monthly revision of what the future will bring you. Accurate and clear, as always. If it was not accurate and clear, it could not be our monthly revision, it would be other’s revision.

Aquarius

My beloved Aquarius. A great month awaits you. You will visit a room with toilets several times. There, you will be released of a load that you will need to drop. After these visits, you will feel renewed and ready for facing whatever threat the world has prepared you.

Pisces

My sneaky Pisces. May will bring you exploration. You will explore your emotional needs, finding ways to satisfy those needs, if you know what I mean. About your economy, good news are also about to come true. You will find a coin lying on the ground. Pisces, this is undoubtedly your lucky month, and that can only mean one thing: prepare yourself for the storm that will be waiting for you in June.

Aries

My colourful Aries, I don’t know if you have heard about Mercury being retrograde in Taurus. Well, if you didn’t, I have to tell you that it is going to happen in May, and it is going to be a serious stuff to deal with. No one want to watch Mercury retrograde in Taurus. But, why is this affecting Aries? Because you will be in the seventh house and Mercury will be knocking at this house really hard. How is this going to affect in you life? You will eat chocolate.

Taurus

Taurus, darling, what a month for you. There is going to be a planetary constellation during the first part of this month, which will bring you a lot of new encounters. Maybe they are not new all of them, but as you have forgotten their faces, it will be like you have never seen them. About your health, you will find a lollipop and you will be really close to taste it, but you will not do it in the end, so your health will be fine. And that is also thanks to the planetary constellation.

Gemini

My likeable Gemini, you may have the opportunity of meeting a lot of gorgeous people, or you may not. You may earn a lot of money this month, or you may not. You may also find the love of you life, or you may not. Likewise, you may get rid of the love of your life, or you may not. No planetary movement will affect you this month, so everything can happen, or not.

Cancer

My spotless Cancer, there is a Moon-Saturn opposition for you, which guarantees a careful thinking and planing… I was kidding, you will plan nothing as usual, although with one exception, you will try to make your bed once this month, beating your 2016 making bed record.

Leo

My pertinent Leo, your will be feeding yourself with a load of knowledge. So much knowledge you will be injecting that it could be dangerous for the people around you, because if you feed yourself with so much knowledge you could explode and splash them. If you want to blame anyone for this, blame Mars, because it is in Scorpio.

Virgo

My rocky Virgo, you will be vulnerable in May. Do not try to pretend that you will not be, because you will be and everyone will know it. And if in May you do not feel that vulnerability, better feel it because that is how you have to be. I am sorry Virgo, but Saturn will also feel vulnerable and you can do nothing but respect Saturn and share the grief. Yes, I do not understand it either.

Libra

My sparkling Libra. You will be given many advises during these thirty days. I am just going to tell you one thing: follow them! Unless you do not want to ruin your life. In that case, do not follow those rules.

Scorpio

My blazing Scorpio. You will be surprised by someone you do not expect. It could be a human being or an animal. You will make some new friends too, and you will feed them with bread while sitting in a bench. They will come to you to be fed and will be your best friends until you run out of bread.

Sagittarius

My raspy Sagittarius. You will see the sun shine and will decide to do some kind of exercise to build your body. You will also see some clouds carrying rain, which will make you decide to stop doing exercise and let it go for the next month.

Capricorn

My kissy Capricorn. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you will see it at the beginning. The tunnel will not be so long, so the sun will not have time to hide. In fact, you can play the tunnel game: not to breath while you are in the tunnel. You will have time to do it, like I said, the tunnel is not really that long. By the way, you will figure which of your friends are really there for you, thanks to Pluto (the planet), which will be retrograde in general terms.


You can find how right I was or I am being with my unbelievable predictions, by checking the April Horoscope.

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