Our monthly revision of what the future will bring you. Accurate and clear.
This month, you might decide to put your ass in a new setting: go to the same club or look for a different one in order to feel refreshed. Although you might not decide anything. Whatever it happens, remember this: I told you.
You won’t be content sitting at home during the nights of April, or at least, during some of them. Don’t hesitate and socialise your body a bit. Only a bit, man! I’m not asking you to hang out the entire day, but if you could just go out to feed the pigeons, that would be a massive step. Besides, pigeons would be more than grateful, and you’ll be saving your head to be shat by them. You know how Karma works…
This month, Saturn is going to be set in the seventh house. In other words, you’ll be posting a photo of you smiling with sunglasses on Instagram under the hashtag #Happy Monday. If you aren’t an Instagram account owner, you’ll considerate the possibility of creating a new one in order to upload the previously described photo.
Taurus, something special awaits you. You are going to be witness of something magnificent. Yes, I shouldn’t be so specific, but you know, I like to provide as many details as I can gather.
This time, Gemini, you won’t care what others think. You are going to be yourself and you are going to love it. I know that I say this every month, Gemini, but this time I really mean it.
Do you remember the last time that you had fun? Don’t you remember? So you were drunk that day… Ok, then forget it.
You’ll loose your Oscar several times. But don’t you worry, you’ll find it, although it won’t be golden any more.
You’ll try to perform changes in your life and you’ll stand still, and your legs will suffer that. Don’t blame me, blame the solar eclipse in Pisces. This solar eclipse in Pisces is going to be a mess, I can tell you.
Libra, this is going to be your month. I don’t know why, but I have the feeling in me. When you hit the flow the girls will come snapping at you. It doesn’t matter your gender, your likes or anything. It will just happen.
You’ll find a balance in your life. I mean the instrument for weighing objects. Your life will still be a mess as usual.
There’s a likelihood you’ll meet someone very exciting. However, as I told Virgo, there’s a solar eclipse in Pisces, so there’s also a likelihood you won’t meet that someone. Therefore, the point is that there’s no point. I hope I have taken a load of your mind. You can breath back now. You are very welcome.
The planets tell me that you have been thinking that it is time to add spice to your life. I’m not going to tell you the opposite. In fact, the angels recommend me that you should. It is said that it is used in the Indian cookery, and if you like Indian food, go ahead. By the way, you’ll be considering new relationships, whether you know it or not. Subconscious, you surprise me every day.